Mindfulness and Meditation

To be quite honest ever since I can remember I could never control my brain. My very first memory of this was around grade 4 or 5 when we were in class and my teacher asked us to put our head down on the desk and close our eyes. She then narrated us through a story line for us to picture and I don’t remember exactly what it was but it was some kind of setting at a beach with the sound of waves crashing into the shore, sun beating down on us and the smell of fresh air. For the life of me I could not picture it but I thought that was completely normal. I didn’t realize that majority of the other kids in my class were probably picturing their version of exactly what the teacher was saying. Fast forward to about a month ago when I was discussing Meditation and Mindfulness when I realized that I should in fact be able to control my brain even if it is just a small amount.

So that brings me to today, for the past couple of weeks I have been trying to train my brain to do what I want to do instead of having that bad voice take over. There could be any reasons I allow that negative voice to takeover and I believe that I actually started to notice it there in high school. It was so negative and it had the biggest impact on my athletic career. No one even had the chance to discourage me because everything they were saying I likely already told myself in my brain.

This progressed to my college career but at this time I didn’t have a coach who cared about my wellbeing like I did in high school. I had a coach who was being paid to have a successful career so he would say a lot of degrading things not only to me but he would likely address the entire team in the same way. This is when I truly started to hate hockey, not only did I not have the support from the adults I spent almost every single day with but I was also 4 hours away from my home and family plus manage a social life and obtain a degree.

Looking back the only thing that beat me and didn’t allow me to perform at my highest potential was myself. That exercise in my grade 4 classroom wasn’t for nothing, it was a lesson teaching me that if you could make your brain think anything you wanted it to then you would be unstoppable. This could’ve been a huge part of my athletic success into college and beyond. I have been completely out of school for about 5 years and that little negative voice in my head exists on a daily. I am currently practicing meditation and mindfulness every single day so that I can escape from the daily negative voice in my head.

The most recent tactic that I have learned comes from a book I am currently reading called “Self Care for Adults of Emotionally Immature Parents”, by Lindsay C. Gibson. She said that when you feel like you are not in control of your thoughts either because you are angry or filled with anxiety then that is because your fight or flight response has kicked in. This lasts for 90 seconds where your adrenaline kicks in and you can’t control it so she says you count to 90 and at the end of that 90 seconds you are back in control. You have to change the way your brain is going to think for the rest if the day and she says the easiest way to calm yourself down after this happens is to picture a nose sticking out of your chest where your heart is, breathe deep breaths through your nose and straight into your heart and release for as long as you can. This replenishes your air flow and slows down your heart rate so you can continue to think clearly again.

This something that I have been doing for a few days now and to be quite honest it actually works for me. If you are someone who is constantly filled with anxiety I encourage you to try it, and if it doesn’t work for you the that is okay too but don’t give up keep searching for something that will help you. Mediation and Mindfulness is crucial for mental health. Your brain needs the same amount of exercise to be its healthiest that your body does.